Sitting here

wondering

why life escaped me

so quickly

regrets upon regrets and what ifs

not at all what I had expected for myself

when I first began dreaming of tomorrow

now today

reality and its lessons so easy to ignore

then

impossible to ignore

now

and I wish it had all turned out differently

somehow

Life

Mommy, I miss you. Hug?

Where did you go? What do you do all day?

Mommy, what's a presentation?

How do I explain

My absence

From someone to whom I am so close

The gift of life

Of which I learned

On my birthday when I thought

Life no more can dwell within

Each passing month and year

Two boys shall suffice

As seven years pass

Like a dream and yet

Announce that life once again has come

To dwell

And two boys are no longer sufficient

Hope mingled, twinged with fear

And then relief

As now I watch her slow transformation

Riding my heart as effortlessly as she

Learned to ride her two-wheeler

I love you, I say

I love you more, she says

I love you most

And then she says what she always does

I love you more than most...I won!

No sweet child

I won

An Old Friend

I met an old friend today

reminding me

of what I once was

and found myself

wondering what might have been

having fallen short of my own ideals

and dreams yet

knowing who I was

in some small way

shaped, formed, inspired

another

and in turn

inspires me

now

Tornado

Darkness looming above heavy skies soon to be drenched by falling stones.
Claps of anger, flashes of light grabbing the attention of distracted adolescents.
Youth interrupted.
Silence.
Can you hear it?
But for the ticking clock and racing heart, nothing.
Pressure rising, lights flickering, confusion mounting.
Run!
Safety lurking beneath a mattress, beside a wall.
The howling train not held back,
We grasped at straws that were each other.
And then,
Nothing.
Rising, knees crumpled and weak, to make sense
Of the interruption of the day.
Looking,
Searching,
All was fine and yet,
Not.
Lives unknown to us lost while
We kept our own.
Relief?
Yes, for now.
Until the storm rises up again and we,
Once more,
Cling to what lasts.

London Fog

Frustrated rays
Punch holes through stubborn fog
As eggplant skies with girlish hues
Embrace
Majestic towers rise tenaciously
Above fog and sun
Shadows become reflections
In distant waters
Tension, discord
Beauty

Spring in Nebraska

You can see children playing
Not knowing the inevitability of
Growing up
And brightly hued tulips
And daffodils
And carpets of shy grass
And flying things
Cotton taking flight
As weeds become wishes
You can see the old dirt roads
Where bikes carry renewed spirits
Through silence
Interrupted only by the music of a red-winged blackbird
Along endless mazes of corn and corn
Because it's spring in Nebraska.

The Path

A fountain of light
Upon silent stone and shadow
Reaching through
Paths of gray bringing dust to life
As fairies catch
Their first breath
Of spring and resurrection.